ally_bay_bee

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    • Name: Alyssa
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/2/2007

Friday, 30 October 2009

  • It's been a while!

    Dear Xanga,

    I know you think I've been neglecting you and the honest truth is-I have. It's not that I don't think about you, it's just that I am so insanely busy with...well...life. To tell you the truth, Xanga, I miss updating and writing blogs. It's always been not just therapeutic for me but fun and when my life settles down I hope to start writing more again. Looking back on some past blogs, there are so many that mean a lot to me. Sure, some were controversial and I had people send me nasty, horrible things in response to what I wrote but Xanga, that's only made me a better writer. I don't really care what people say normally but when its about something I'm passionate about, it sort of gets personal. Writing blogs on here has introduced me to both smart, great people and also idiotic and crazy people. And by crazy I do mean they should be turned into a psychiatric center. The point here is that I love the rush of writing blogs and debating with people who comment on them (both good and bad debates). Anyway, Xanga, I promise to try to write more soon.

    Love your friend,

    Alyssa

Saturday, 08 August 2009

  • Take me baby (or leave me)

     

    I have yet to still find myself but every now and then I really think about who I am as a person. What I like and what I don't. What I will tolerate and what I won't put up with. I have mini epiphanies from time to time and its a chance to check in with myself and see where I'm at in my life. This is what I've recently come up with:

    I find a strange peace when I cook. I've always liked to cook but recently its become an escape for me. I put on my apron and suddenly I feel better. I'm in total control and my mind breaks free from all the chaos that builds up in my head. There's no real system to cooking and its not always precise and thats what I love about it. I like to play Frank Sinatra when I cook (I'm not sure why) I guess because there's something in his voice that makes me feel at home. I love that when its all done I feel a sense of accomplishment that I made something.

     

    I ran into the super market for two things the other night-cookies and beer. Odd combination I know. The cookies (mint grasshoppers) were for me and the beer was for my younger brother. There were all senior citizens on each of the self express check out machines. I know this is going to sound so awful and mean but there should be a sign that says "55 and over-please do not use these machines." If they had just gone to a regular register they would have been out quicker. Between them not being able to read the screen to fumbling with the items to find the bar codes...its just not fair to people who want to get in and out. Then they have problems with sliding the credit card and signing the pin pad. Honestly...I know its messed up but I've completely come to terms with this being one of my pet peeves.

    cute 001001

    I am so totally okay with being in love with my cats (all three of them). I don't even care if people think I might become the crazy cat lady. They make me laugh and though they aren't too keen on cuddling with me (yet...I'm working on it) I am so mad about them. When your a pet lover you really understand an animals love. I mean with cats its all about them. Everything is on their terms like when they want affection or don't. I think thats why I love them-they're independent.

     

     

    One of the things I absolutely love about my best friend is that she takes open minded and whatever the world hands her she explores it and takes advantage of it. I tend to sometimes doom things before they even happen. Sometimes I don't give things a try when I should. It's with many aspects of my life-especially my love life...well what used to be my love life...since I don't have much of one right now. My best friend dreaded going out on this first date with a guy and she ended up dragging me to make it more of a social thing. She didn't picture herself with her now boyfriend but she was open minded and gave it a try and now their in love. I need to be more like that.

     

    I was in the car with my mom the other day and I was talking to her about my internship and I was telling her how excited but nervous I am about it . She told me not to get caught up in that world and loose myself and my character. It's something I had thought about myself before my mom brought it up to me. I think I'm afraid of becoming a snob even though I'm positive I won't. I know that sounds ridiculous but its really easy to loose sight of who you are when your in an industry like that. I've seen it happen with someone close to me and I don't want it to happen with me. I'll need my family to put me in my place if I for one second get out of line. I'll need to remind myself of who I am and where I come from. Nevertheless, it's still a little bit of a fear.

    I no longer think of myself as crazy when I talk about future wedding plans-even though I don't even have a boyfriend. I don't care that I found a great location already and grabbed a brochure while I was there. I don't care that I sometimes scope out wedding dresses online when I'm bored. I like to think I'm just "getting an idea." So what. A girl can dream and thats what I call it-dreaming.

     

    Which pretty much wraps everything up. Those are bits and pieces of who I am . Those are things that can either be accepted about me or not but those are things I cannot and will not change and honestly I'm so completely okay with that.

Thursday, 06 August 2009

  • Dating your siblings friends? Okay or not?

     

    I have this theory. If your close with your bother or sister and you have a lot in common with them its most likely your going to have things in common with their friends. 


    The older my brother and I get, the more we face a certain a problem. The problem is wether or not its okay to date each others friends. I have dated one of my brothers friends once. My brother wasn't friends with him at the time we started talking because they had a falling out. My brother literally begged me not to date the guy because he knew he was a pathological liar and not good enough for me. I didn't''t listen and figured it all out on my own (he really was a pathological liar and not good enough to date me.)  While we were dating though my brother and his friend (they patched up their friendship for me) got along. In the end of course my brother pulled the "I told you so" card.

    I tried to see the situation from my brothers point of view. When guys sit around and talk about chicks it can get graphic and sometimes dirty. They blab about sex and this girl or that girl. That's the thing though. My brother doesn't want to associate me to one of his friends as just "this girl."If I'm dating one of my brothers friends, my brother and his friend can no longer talk about sex or anything personal like that. It affects their friendship in that aspect. 

    My brother is really protective but to the point where its ridiculous. 

    Recently one of his close friends came home from school and he and I were flirting a little bit. We've always flirted. I've known him a long time (the guy used to come to our families beach house and spend weeks with us.) My brothers friend asked me if I wanted to see a movie with him. It wasn't a date kind of thing, it was just that I really wanted to see the movie and he did too and we were just going to hang out. 

    My brother flipped out. He said it was "disrespectful" to him if I made any moves on his friend and viceversa. He told me he didn't want me going to the movies with this friend. 
     
    My brother also had a "talk" with his friend and pretty much told him he wasn't allowed to hang out with my unless he was there.I told my brother he was acting crazy. We may flirt but it wont go any further than that. If it did I would tell my brother. The funny thing is I'm older than my brother. I'm not the baby sister, I'm the older sister. I guess it doesn't matter.

    If my brother wanted to date one of my friends I can honestly say I wouldn't care. Mazel Tov!
     
    Do I see myself dating this friend of my brothers? Not really. Do we have fun when we hang out? Yeah. Is there anything my brother needs to know as far as me  and his friend are concerned? Not at all. So I can't stand him yelling and freaking out on me. It's so silly. Supervised hanging out? REALLY? Come on.
     
    My brother and I duked it out (we needed to) and finally he agreed. If there really isn't anything going on (which there isn't) then he is okay with us hanging out. I wonder though...what if hypothetically speaking we did want to date. What then?

    So my question is...do you think its okay to date your siblings friends or for them to date yours? Would you think it would be weird? 
     
     

Monday, 03 August 2009

  • I'm in limbo.

    I'm in limbo. 

    It's the only way I can describe my life right now. I want things to just start with my life and I feel so completely stuck. People warned me about how insane and confusing life is, especially in your 20's.
    I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride. I'm up and down all the time. 
     
    I wan't my life to start RIGHT NOW but I don't have the means to do it. I mean I cant afford an apartment and to be on my own right now. I can't even find a job. I've been looking forever. Not even a real job, just a simple part time job to put some money away.
     
    It also feels like my college just wont let me leave. Actually, there is some truth in that. Here's what's fucked up (pardon my french). I went to a two year school and transferred. I lost 25 credits. The college I transferred to took almost EVERYTHING as ELECTIVES. Really? Biology is an elective? Oh I'm sorry the biology I took at my previous school doesn't match up to yours. I didn't know the material of biology could actually differ between schools. So what I would like to say to my school is "Here, why don't I just give you my LIFE SAVINGS? That's really what it comes down to. You just want every ounce of cash you can pull out of me. Oh wait though, I don't have all that cash. Okay...so I'll take out loans? Sure. Which I'll be paying back when I'm out of this hell hole plus interest. So for the next few years I'll STILL BE PAYING you, though I'm don't.Great."

    And here's the other thing...I have a great internship coming up this fall at a TV show. I found the internship and called and set up an interview. I'm a media major so in the media dept there's a woman who's ONLY FUCKING JOB (pardon the french again)  is to give me permission to register for my internship so I can add it to my schedule. I've e-mailed back and fourth with her and she said she was going to go into the system to give me department permission so I could register. So I e-mailed her back and thanked her. Guess who hasn't gone into the system to let me register for the internship yet a month later? Right. The woman with the one job that is doing just that. 
     
    So what I've gathered after four years (and still  not done) of college is that with all I've learned, I'm guessing this internship (like most internships) is going to teach me more about my major and what I want to do in life than all the college courses I've taken. So, really all the money and time and aggravation is useless, though you have no choice but to endure it if you want to "follow your dreams." Unless those dreams don't require a college diploma, in which case more power to ya.
     
     
    Honestly monkeys could run my college better.  Half the time I don't even understand what they're telling me because I think they just pull nonsense out of their ass. One person in one office says one thing and then sends you to another office in which you hear another and by the end of the day I've gotten no where. So sometimes I wish they were monkeys. At least with monkeys it would be exactly the same thing, only monkeys are fun and cuter to look at.

    But back to my point. Limbo I think it was...and me being stuck in it. It's just that I'm hoping this internship opens up doors. It's just that I want to get out of my house. It's not that I don't appreciate living at home where I don't have to worry about anything, its that now that I'm getting older I'm realizing its not easy dating when you live at home. I'm done dealing with my 16 year old sister and her messy life that infects everyone else in my house. I'm done getting woken up at 5 am and then not being able to fall back asleep because my 19 year old brother comes home drunk with his friend and the two of them are making tons of noise on the other side of my paper thin wall.

    Done done done done. I need a new word for done.
     
    I want to be out on my own but I can't right now but though its not far away either. I need to get things together and moving before I can do anything.
     
    Ugh. What a rambling blog. At least this was therapeutic.

Thursday, 30 July 2009

  • Let's talk Nine....

          

    I love musicals. So much so that I often put the soundtracks on my ipod. I was flipping through my magazine the other day and I was reading an interview with Fergie. I couldn't believe that she was making a movie called Nine with an AMAZING cast of women. Let me give you the lowdown (in case you haven't heard.) The list of actors includes:

    Daniel Day-Lewis

    Fergie

    Penélope Cruz

    Judi Dench

     

    Nicole Kidman

    Marion Cotillard

    Kate Hudsom

    Sophia Loren

    I am SO excited. This is a crazy unbelievable cast of gorgeous and talented women. I mean SOPHIA LOREN?! She may have aged (she still looks great) but the woman used to scream sexy back in the day

    Here's the trailer:

    I'm excited. I love these types of movies and with such a great cast I can't see how it would be bad. The movie's description goes like so:

    Nine is the musical retelling of Franco Fellini's semi-autobiographical "8 and a half". It tells the story of Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis), a world famous famous film director as he confronts an epic mid-life crisis with both creative and personal problems. He must balance the many women of his life, including his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), his film star muse (Nicole Kidman), his confidant and costume designer (Judi Dench), an American fashion journalist (Kate Hudson), the whore from his youth (Fergie) and his mother (Sophia Loren).  -taken from IMDB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0875034/synopsis)

    The only thing I couldn't not wonder about was Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz...I can only hope they sat around during breaks and bad mouthed Tom Cruise...ok not the WHOLE time the were filming but I bet it made for a great ice breaker.

Saturday, 18 July 2009

  • Twilight-Why we love Edward

     

    I didn't think it was possible to be in love with a fictional character. I'm on the third book, Eclipse, of the Twilight series and I totally get it. I get why women are swooning over Edward Cullen. I know he's just a character but he, to me, is an example of a great boyfriend.

    First of all...vampires are sexy. They are indulgent and magnificent creatures. Plus they're sexual. Here's the thing about Edward though. First of all the guys been around the block. He's thousands of years old. He's got the maturaity of a much older man but he's seventeen.That alone is hot. It's the way he talks to her and the patience he has with her as well, I mean he girl is either getting hurt, getting into trouble, or being hunted. Yet, he never stops protecting her. Every girl wants to be protected from ANY kind of harm. Sure, he screws up on rare occasion (like leaving her in New Moon for so long) but for the most part he is the ideal model for a boyfriend. I mean the guy can't eat regular food and he's always making sure she eats. He's her stability. Everytime he kisses her she gets dizzy. Girls would love feel that everytime they were kissed.  

     

    I can't wait to finish the series. I haven't been across a romance like this in a while. Oh Edward Cullen. If only every girl was lucky enough to find someone like him. And yes, if I were Bella, I too would give up everything to become a vampire as well.

     

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ally_bay_bee

  • Visit ally_bay_bee's Xanga Site
    • Name: Alyssa
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/2/2007

About Me

  • media student, daydreamer and romantic.

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